Understanding Your Orgasm

Now that you understand the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, it is important to understand the nature of male orgasms and how multiple (non-ejaculatory) orgasms differ from the old-fashioned (ejaculatory) ones.

Multiple orgasms begin like any others: you start by getting aroused until you feel close to the point of ejaculating. As you learn in the following sec­tions to increase your awareness of your arousal, you will be able to stop the stimulation just before the "point of no return," after which you would ejac­ulate. Just before this point, you will experience a series of contractions in your genitals lasting three to five seconds. These pleasurable pelvic orgasms at first may feel like a fluttering or a rather mild release of pressure. These are called "contractile-phase" orgasms, and in time as you learn to play with the edge they can be just as intense as the ejaculatory orgasms you are accus­tomed to. Don't get discouraged if they are rather tame at first. Once you are able to identify and separate these orgasmic contractions from ejaculation, you will be able to multiply and intensify them.

This contractile-phase orgasm is the moment of truth: instead of continu­ing on to ejaculation, you will stop or decrease your stimulation long enough to regain control of your arousal rate. You can also squeeze your PC muscle, which we will describe below, which will help you maintain some control if you feel like you are about to ejaculate.

With multiple orgasms, instead of cresting over into ejaculation, you will then decrease your arousal slightly and prepare for another orgasm. With multiple orgasms, your arousal is like a wave that instead of cresting is swept up by a larger wave that takes it even higher. Some multi-orgasmic men describe falling back into their orgasm rather than falling forward into ejacu­lation. These are simply metaphors that may help you as you discover your own orgasmic process.

It is important to remember not to strive too hard to experience these contractile-phase orgasms. Most men find they must stop themselves just before ejaculating and relax into orgasm. It is not easy for many men to switch their focus from the goal of getting off, but multiple orgasms allow you to experience an orgasmic process that is far more satisfying for you and your partner.

In the following section, we will show you how to strengthen your PC muscle and how to develop your sexual sensitivity so you can multiply and intensify your own unique orgasmic potential.